Why Perfectionism Could Be Killing You?
A new analysis says that perfectionists are more likely to struggle with depression or anxiety, and sadly they’re more likely to commit suicide. And there are also other negative health effects of perfectionism.
Perfectionism is a personality trait that can help people get things done, meet deadlines, and perform to the best of their ability in work, school, and various personal objectives and goals. However, if perfectionism goes too far it can create a lot of emotional stress and eventually take a toll on the affected person, ultimately hindering performance rather than enhancing it. If you are a perfectionist or if you have perfectionist tendencies in certain areas of your life, read on below for the top 3 negative consequences of perfectionism that you should look out for.
Top 3 Negative Consequences of Perfectionism
1. Perfectionism can affect self-esteem.
Perfectionists may appear as if they have high self-esteem due to their high energy, their commitment to their work, and their refusal to settle for anything less than the best. Oftentimes, perfectionists look, speak, and act rather perfectly, appearing like they ‘have it all together,’ all the time. The reality is that deep down, many perfectionists can have low self-esteem. They place a tremendous amount of pressure on themselves to perform flawlessly and avoid mistakes or failures at all costs. The slightest mishap can send some perfectionists into a state of anxiety and/or depression because their sense of self is entirely related to their ability to perform. If their performance is not to their standards, they feel that this is a reflection of their worth as an individual.
2. Perfectionism Can Lead to Burnout.
It takes a lot of work to keep up with the demands of perfectionism, which is the main reason why perfectionists often experience severe and chronic stress, which leads to burnout. The reason for burnout is due to the fact that perfectionists tend to not take breaks or vacations and will not stop working until they feel they have reached the perfection they seek. This ‘moment’ of achieving perfection sometimes never comes, leaving the perfectionist stressed and frustrated. Eventually, the physical body gives out due to exhaustion or lack of rest and/or the person becomes emotionally drained, resulting in burnout.
3. Perfectionism Can Affect Relationships.
The primary concern of a perfectionist is their own behaviors and the demands they place on themselves; however, in some cases, perfectionists may try to control or regulate the behaviors of those around them who may have a role in the perfectionist’s duties or responsibilities. For example, a perfectionist in a work setting may make demands of co-workers who are contributing to a group project or a perfectionist parent may demand that his/her children follow certain rules or guidelines that align with perfectionism. This can create a situation where the perfectionists’ interactions with others can become toxic, as arguments and conflict are likely to occur if the other party/parties refuse to abide by the perfectionist’s requirements.
How Can you Help a Perfectionist in Your Life?
Here are some ideas:
Don’t say, “it doesn’t have to be perfect”
That is the worst thing you can say to a perfectionist. Instead, highlight their strengths and what you like about them For example, your perfectionist brother has a meltdown over a work screw-up. Focus on how you’re proud of his no matter what, rather than telling him to stop expecting perfection.
Get rid of the word “should”
Perfectionists are obsessed with this word: “I should be the best!” Instead, help your friend or loved one ask why should? For example, help her focus on what she wants from the party she’s planning (to have fun) versus what she wants to avoid (every one to think she has horrible taste).
Reminder: It’s not a failure, it’s data
For perfectionists more prone to the “nothing” side of the spectrum, you can help them overcome their fear of failure by helping them pinpoint problems. They might say, “I tried going to the gym, but I never had time so I just can’t work out.” Alright, so if you know that’s not working, what can you learn from that? Maybe you can go for a walk at lunch and after dinner? In other words, always throw out ideas.
If you feel you may have traits of perfectionism that cause you daily distress, know that perfectionistic behavior and habits can be changed. It is possible to learn healthier attitudes about your goals and standards with the help of a trusted, compassionate therapist at Kazmo Brain Center.
And Reminder ‘’No one’s perfect, after all’’
Recourse: www.health.com
Kazmo Brain Center is a counseling center in Frisco, Texas specializing in mental health counseling and will work with you toward a happier and more satisfying position. If you or your loved ones are facing Social Anxiety Disorder and you need help, Request an appointment at Kazmo Brain Center and we are here to help.
