Toxic positivity is the idea that you should always be happy, no matter what. While there are benefits to being optimistic and having a positive outlook, toxic positivity rejects all difficult emotions, instead focusing on a cheerful facade.
Positive thinking can make you feel good mentally. However, sometimes life is not always positive. We all have difficult experiences and emotions. To be accepted and to feel better mentally, we must deal with these emotions openly and honestly.
Toxic positivity is an extreme form of positive thinking where people focus only on the good things in life and ignore any negative aspects. This outlook can be very stressful and lead people to deny or minimize emotions other than happiness and positive feelings.
Examples of Toxic Positivity
There are many forms of toxic positivity. Here are some examples you may have encountered in your own life:
- When something bad happens, people may say things like “just stay positive” or “look on the bright side.” These statements are often meant to be sympathetic, but they can shut down what the other person might want to say about what they are experiencing.
- Some might say that “everything happens for a reason” after experiencing a loss. This is a way of trying to comfort the person, but it also avoids the pain that the loss might be causing.
- People might say that happiness is a choice when expressing sadness or disappointment. This means it’s their fault if someone is feeling negative emotions because they could have chosen to be happy.
Sometimes people say well-intentioned things but don’t know how to be empathetic. Sometimes, these things can be harmful.
The Harms of Toxic Positivity
Positive thoughts and feelings can be helpful, but too many can harm others who are going through difficult times. People with too much positivity may find their emotions dismissed, ignored, or even considered invalid.
- Shaming is when we treat someone poorly because of how they are feeling. This can make the person feel ashamed, as if their emotions are wrong. When we are sad or upset, we need to know that our friends and family will support us. They don’t need to agree with our feelings, but they should be there to listen and help us feel better.
- If you have toxic chemicals in your body, you might feel guilty. This is because it shows that you are not happy and successful even in the face of tragedy. It can be seen as a sign that you are not living correctly.
- Toxic positivity is a way of numbing emotional pain. People who engage in this behavior try to avoid situations that make them feel uncomfortable. Sometimes they do this to themselves, thinking that difficult emotions are not real. When we feel difficult emotions, we often discount, dismiss, or deny them.
- Toxic positivity can help us avoid pain and keep us from growing and learning new things.
The Toxic Positivity Symptoms
Toxic positivity is frequently subtle. Recognizing the signs can help you identify this type of behavior more accurately. The following are signs that you may be toxically positive:
- Avoiding problems rather than confronting them
- Hiding your true feelings behind socially acceptable feel-good quotes
- Other people’s feelings are minimized because they make you uncomfortable.
- Shaming others when they lack a positive attitude
It’s also critical to recognize when someone else is acting toxically positive toward you, potentially harming your mental health. Toxic positivity can manifest itself in the following ways:
- Feeling guilty because you are sad, angry, or disappointed
- Hiding or masking your emotions
- Attempting to be stoic or “get over” difficult emotions
In conclusion
When you’re upset, allowing yourself to feel emotions is important. These feelings are real and valid. They can tell you a lot about the situation and what you need to do to change it.
Sometimes it’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or happiness. But before you do anything, it’s important to sit with your feelings and figure out what you want to do about the situation. Sometimes it’s best to give yourself time to think things through before acting on your feelings.
