Parents of a transgender child often experience much worry for the wellbeing and safety of their child, as well as concerns over how to safeguard their child’s emotional health. Although society has advanced significantly in the acceptance and support of the transgender community, there is still much stigma attached to the topic particularly when children are involved.
As a parent, your primary focus is on maintaining and strengthening your relationship with your child and ensuring that he/she feels safe, supported, and understood. Below are some tips you can follow as you guide your child through his/her transition and journey of growth, learning, and discovering their identity.
- Communicate with your child every day, but make sure you are listening as much (or more) as you are talking.
- Encourage your child to problem-solve and find solutions to any issues that arise whether it’s a problem with peers at school or managing any interpersonal difficulties. Avoid trying to give your child all the answers.
- Promote the development of resilience in your child by guiding them in trying again despite any moments of failure or rejection they experience.
- Get support. This applies to both you and your child. Look up local support groups for parents of transgender children and find a support group for your child, too. The school guidance counselor should be able to provide you with these contacts.
- Support your child’s passions. Children identify their passions rather early on in their lives, typically by age 8. It is important for your child to participate in activities he/she is passionate about whether it be a sport or some other type of hobby or activity. This helps to build your child’s self-esteem.
- Be aware of cyber-bullying. Monitor your child’s social media and online activity.
- Don’t assume. This applies to pretty much any topic associated with your child. Don’t assume that because your child identifies as transgender means that he/she is depressed. On the same token, don’t assume that he/she is not depressed. Don’t assume your child has no friends or is ashamed or wants to dress a certain way.
and lastly…
- Don’t feel like you need to have it all together and have all the answers. It’s okay to not know how to handle your feelings, your child’s feelings, and/or anyone else’s feelings in the household (e.g., siblings, grandparents, your spouse). It’s okay to have moments of confusion and despair. And, it’s okay for your child to see that you are human. Your child will learn far more from you if you are able to admit that parents are not perfect and sometimes, parents are afraid or unsure. Proceed through this journey alongside your child, always letting him/her know your love and acceptance of them, no matter what, and your unconditional presence to protect them always.
