Envy is a feeling that can take root in any of us, often without us realizing it. It occurs when we compare ourselves to others and feel a sense of sorrow or inferiority as a result. In this blog post, we’ll explore what envy is, the causes that trigger it in different people, and its potential effects on our mental well-being.
What is envy?
Defined as “a feeling of discontent or resentment arousing from the possessions, qualities, or luck of someone else.”
Envy is about someone getting ahead of you, doing better, or having qualities you wish you had. You believe you’re losing the race. You are slipping behind. And you are sad, angry, resentful, and anxious, and you simply cannot accept it.
Two Types of Envy:
Depressed Envy
Depressed envy occurs when another person’s success makes you feel bad about yourself or your life. You are feeling diminished, befuddled, defeated, and even humiliated, and you take their success personally because you believe it reflects on you. Hostile envy happens when you are angry and want the other person to fail. You could criticize their success or personal qualities, say their success was undeserved, or say they cheated their way into their position.
Hostile Envy
Characterized by resentment, a desire to retaliate against the person, and, in some cases, a desire to undermine the person. Of course, we call it Schadenfreude. And everyone can relate to this feeling from time to time.
Some people distinguish a third type of envy:
Benign Envy
This refers to your positive admiration for another person’s qualities. Positive envy can be adaptive and motivating, but most people are unconcerned about their benign envy. Let’s stick with the hostile and depressed envy for now.
It’s difficult to admit envy.
Envy is distinct from all other emotions. We can admit to feeling jealous. However, envy frequently carries the added burden of embarrassment or shame. We don’t want to admit to feeling envious. We regard it as a petty, self-centered, sour-grapes emotion. So we conceal it, harbor it, and disguise it with claims of injustice or character assassination. We can also avoid people who make us jealous. “I don’t want to be around him because it reminds me that they are doing better than I am,” you may reason. And we might want to undercut them.
