We all look at other couples and try to figure out what our perfect relationship would be like. Some people may use the hashtag #relationshipgoals to describe what they want their relationship to look like. After all, it’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, and social media has made this tendency easier.
Sometimes people post pictures of themselves and their partners on social media and call them “couple goals.”
This is a trend that can have some negative consequences for our relationships. For example, we may start to expect too much from our partnerships based on what we see online. So, let’s take a moment to think about how our #CoupleGoals are affecting our relationships.
What Is the Difference Between #CoupleGoals and #RelationshipGoals?
The trend of using hashtags like #CoupleGoals and #RelationshipGoals on social media is unknown. However, they often use it to comment on all types of relationships.
“People who comment on other people’s relationships do so in the hope of achieving their own goals, which they see manifested in those relationships,” says Yuko Nippoda, psychotherapist and UK Council for Psychotherapy spokesperson (UKCP). “They’re really expressing the type of relationship they want,” she adds.
Others, on the other hand, use these hashtags to present the public with an image of a healthy, happy relationship. The reasons for this vary, but according to Nippoda, it can be simplified by understanding that when people are recognized and acknowledged by others or society, they tend to feel good about themselves. “In particular, people feel powerful when they believe they are influencing many others,” she says.
The image presented by celebrities, influencers, or famous people is also good publicity for their careers. However, this is where the danger lies. “[After all], the images posted may be false and depict their relationships as they wish,” she adds.
Why Do Some People Adopt the #CoupleGoals Trend?
There are numerous reasons why people choose to follow certain trends. Jordan Russell believes that social media users often idealize things they see on social media, which can lead to unrealistic expectations.
With the digitalization of relationships and dating and unlimited access to other people’s personal lives, this behavior may appear even more appealing. “Real connection and healthy dating situations appear to be even more difficult to find, [so] having #RelationshipGoals gives people hope,” he says.
Russell and his programmer wife, Richel Cuyler, have been together since 2011 and plan to marry in October 2022. They never modeled their relationship after other couples. Furthermore, neither believes in the trend, despite appreciating the benefits of having goals to strive for. On the other hand, Russell claims that most of these are performative and advises people to proceed with caution.
He says their relationship underwent many changes over time, including living apart and then getting back together.
He thinks it was a good idea not to have any specific goals in the beginning since their lives were always moving around.
The couple decided to keep their relationship private and went through counseling to help them work together better.
He said it was because they learned how to work together differently than most, so they didn’t want to advertise.
What Are the Potential Consequences of Using #CoupleGoals to Influence Your Relationships?
The hashtag “relationship goals” describes things like having a lot in common, looking good together, and being perfect for each other. However, this can cause long-term issues because what people see online is usually a heavily edited version of the relationship. This hashtag can encourage people to have unrealistic expectations and behave in unhealthy ways.
Setting goals is a good thing, but it’s important to do it in a realistic way that considers the whole picture.
Setting a goal to have a vacation together differs from setting a goal to become closer emotionally. The latter often requires a lot of vulnerability, self-reflection, and effort.
Couples need to be patient when working towards relationship goals.
She stresses the importance of taking time to develop a good relationship and warns against rushing things.
Last Points to Consider
Finally, relationships are dynamic and ever-changing. Therefore, it’s vital not to let the aesthetic perpetuated by #CoupleGoals and #RelationshipGoals impede your ability to create a distinct and unique safe space in your relationship. “After all, achieving these objectives is a continuous process,” Jackson says.
Goals aren’t inherently bad if you don’t use them to force your partnership into an online aesthetic niche.
